During the 1990s, I worked my way though graduate school as a live-in eldercare assistant. My employer was a fascinating person who had come to California in a covered wagon, and who had spent many of his glory years exploring the world. My job was to help him maintain his independence in the community where he’d lived for over 50 years and to save him from the nursing home, which he regarded as a fate worse than death. I had more than an inkling of what he feared because I’d worked as a stopgap maid for a rural nursing home one summer as a teenager. The environment wasn’t abusive, but it was coldly institutional. It wasn’t the place I’d want to spend the culminating years of my life. Many elderly people tolerate horrific abuse rather than even entertaining the thought of joining a “home”.

This constituted my entire understanding of eldercare before I had the opportunity last week to visit the Summerville (Villa del Rey) retirement community in Napa last week. First, the facilities were stunning. The dining room reminded me of a Victorian resort, and the chef was widely praised as well. I caught a glimpse of an on-site beauty parlor, which included manicures. The entire staff seemed to be involved in spending social time with the residents and participating in fun, creative, and educational activities.

I was most impressed by the Executive Director, Becky Givens. She actively fostered an environment that acknowledged everyone has value, no matter where they fall in the staff hierarchy. She sought out opportunities to praise unsung heroes and encouraged employees to treat each other with understanding and respect. The employees seemed genuinely happy to work there. This general sense of well-being was surely passed along to the elderly residents. Givens put her outlook in a nutshell: “This is their home – we’re here to serve them.”

It’s wonderful to know some people are working toward a world where elderly people don’t have to be terrified about being dumped in a “home”.